Wednesday, May 9, 2007

"You scratch my back and I'll stir yours"

This really old lady raced up to the desk on one of the electric carts and point blank asked me "Do you have a backscratcher?" (long pause) I just asked "What, like, ON me?" The other 2 people at the customer service desk start cackling, but for fun I just clarified "Does Walmart sell backscratchers? They are probably over in the Health and Beauty department." She sort of heard me but just launched into a little story about her son using her old backscratcher as a stirring spoon in some cooking endeavor and now she needs a new one. To which I said "Oh well, in that case you also might be able to find a suitable backscratcher in housewares." A guy, who I believe was the son in question, walked up next to her and started to do what I think is probably the Universal Sign for "she's crazy". Now whether or not she was actually crazy I don't know. Did the son actually put a backscratcher in a pot of food to mix it? (EW!) Or had she been relieving her itchy back with a common stirring spoon? OR was she just crazy and the whole thing was made up? Having spent the last several months among the local populace, I feel comfortable in ruling out the last option. It was either a case of necessity leading to unsanitary culinary practices or the old bat raided her kitchen when she realized the trailer had been infested by fleas.

FUN FACT: Did you know that this year is Spam's 70th anniversary? I'm sure this august occasion has had an effect on the lives of many a Porter customer. (You know you're in hillbilly country when an entire pallet/display is dedicated to the 70th birthday of a cheap mystery meat in a can.)

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