Thursday, May 17, 2007

money, money, money, MUUUUH-NY!!!

One of the joy's of being a peon in a large corporation is forwarding their agendas; in THIS case, attempting to get customers their very own Walmart credit card. It isn't enough that we undercut every business within a 30 mile radius to lure you in, now we want ALL of your high dollar purchases to be on a card we own, accruing an ungodly amount of interest. Better yet - let's just do away with the whole charade and fast forward to the part where we suck your soul (and your bank account) dry. Just sign here, aaand here, initial here.... now you get to enjoy all the perks of being the Evil One's bitch.

Anyhooo, being that I am in the belly of the beast - and that if you DON'T ask everyone you WILL get major disciplinary action taken against you - I had no choice but to comply. My hard sell went like this: I'd hold up one of the brochures right next to my face, tip my head to the side a little, gaze off into space with a dead expression & and joylessly monotone "Would you like to apply for a Walmart credit card today?"

When they responded with a NO I usually nodded in approval and threw in a "Good choice!" or "Atta girl!" Seriously. When one poor fool actually started asking some questions, I handed the brochure to him saying he could read more about it in there, especially THIS part, opening it to the 2nd or 3rd page and pointing to the APR. He looked down and immediately said "no thank you", closing it and handing it back to me. Later, a man commented that the APR was probably a bit high; I told him it wasn't 'high', it's only about the same number as the year in which you were BORN.

We were also supposed to ask people if they wanted to donate a dollar to some children's health miracle whatever. By the time I covered all of the requirements, I told them I only had one more question I had to ask (something along the lines of): "Do you have any desire to return to this Walmart after the onslaught of annoying questions you have have been caught in today?"

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